


These Fine Moments

by shipatfirstsight



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Background romance-Finn and Poe, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I'm trash and I'm sorry, Mostly Fluff, Possibly incest but dear god I hope not, Sexual Content, Some fighting, everyone lives too, so that's nice, super fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-10 02:04:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5564737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipatfirstsight/pseuds/shipatfirstsight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Rey ever wanted is a family, so she really doesn't understand why Kylo won't let her meet his.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Finding Family

Rey never had a real family. She spent most of her childhood bouncing from foster home to foster home, never settling down anywhere long enough to form any lasting bonds. All she really wanted was to have a family—people who loved her and cared if she was okay.

College was, in many ways, the best thing that could have happened to her. She had worked hard to get a scholarship, and the work had paid off; she was late to start college anyway from all the moves. She’d had to repeat a few grades, but she was determined to finish college. She could do it regardless of what her advisors and teachers said. 

Her first day of class she met Finn and Poe; apparently, they’d been best friends forever, though they’d just started dating. They lived down the hall in her apartment complex, conveniently. They were great; they dragged her along with them to parties and movies and all the other things she’d always wanted to take part in. Her roommate, Phasma, was never home, so Rey didn’t feel too guilty about not getting to know her. 

She worried she was getting in the way of their relationship, but they told her that if she were bothering them, they would tell her. It was Rey who decided she would take fencing one day a week with some of the money she had saved up from random jobs—something neither of the boys were interested in—to give them some time to themselves. 

That was where she met Kylo Ren. He was the volunteer instructor for the class—he was strict, hard to please, but she was learning a lot from him. Or so she thought. 

One day after class was over, he pulled her to the side. “I’d like to give you some private pointers.”

Her pride stung at that—she’d just bragged to Finn and Poe the night before that she was doing ‘so well’ and she might even be able to teach them some things so they wouldn’t have to pay for the class themselves. And there was the little problem that a part of her wants to impress her indifferent instructor. She nodded her head anyway. “Of course.” 

Kylo turned away from her, cleaning up the equipment as the other students slowly milled out. When they were alone, finally, he still didn’t turn to her. Rey was quickly growing fed up with his continued silence so she finally asked, “You wanted to teach me something?” 

He finally turned to face her—an odd look crossed his face, almost as though he was surprised to still find her there. “Nah, I really just wanted to talk to you alone. You normally leave as soon as the class is over.” He finishes with a small smile—the first she’s seen on him, but she pushes that thought away.

She’s really angry now. “You could have just told me,” she spits out.

Kylo looks slightly stricken by her angry tone. “I wasn’t sure that you would stay.”

Rey’s still not entirely sure four weeks later why she did stay, but she did, and she’s glad that she did. She knows why she kept staying, though. They ended up going for coffee and they talked until three in the morning. Not about their families or anything, just their hopes and dreams, their hobbies and interests. 

She told him she was studying to be an electrical engineer and he told her he was finishing his masters in history. He’d gotten a late start in college; apparently he’d spent a couple of years traveling around Europe instead. Rey admitted to him she’d always wanted to travel there. 

“Where are you from?” he asked the second time they went out for coffee after class.

“I was born in London,” she answered with a smile.

“How’d you end up here?”

She felt her smile fade; she looked down at the table and fiddled with her cup. “I’m not sure. I don’t really remember. My parents—they abandoned me when I was three. I kept the accent, I guess.” Rey jumped in surprise when a hand touch hers; she looked up, shocked, to find him looking at her with growing concern.

“I’m sorry, Rey.” 

She shrugged her shoulders. “It was so long ago.”

“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.” It was Kylo who looked away this time, but he kept his hand on hers. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he looked back at her and smiled. “You want to go to dinner with me tomorrow night?”

“Like on a date?” she blurted out, and he laughed in response.

“Exactly like a date.”

She said yes. She hadn’t known what to expect though, and she was pretty sure she’d driven Poe and Finn insane because she’d spend the whole day going through her admittedly limited wardrobe trying to pick the perfect outfit. She’d settled on her one and only dress with a pair of flats—it was the first thing she’d tried on but she hadn’t been sure…anyway, Finn and Poe looked about ready to start pulling their hair out. 

“I just want this night to be perfect,” she’d finally whispered to them.

That was when the yelling had started. 

“Of course it will be perfect!” Poe shouted.

“It better be!” Finn yelled in return. “Who wouldn’t have the perfect night with you?”

“Honestly!” Poe replied. 

Rey couldn’t help it—she burst out laughing. “Fine, fine, I get it.”

“Don’t be nervous, Rey, I’m sure he’ll have a great time,” Finn reassured her as he got up before pulling her in his arms. Poe soon joined the group hug. By the time Kylo showed up to pick her up, she was completely calm.

“You look great,” he said quietly when he saw her. He opened the car door for her before running around to his side. She finally looked at what he was wearing. Black jeans, black shirt, black boots. She thought he looked great.

“Am I overdressed?” she asked, fiddling with the hem of her dress. He grabbed her hand, like he’d done in the coffee shop, and brought it to his mouth. He placed a small kiss on the center of her palm before entwining his fingers with hers. 

“You look perfect, Rey.” 

She smiled at that and felt her cheeks heat up. “Thanks. So, where are we going?”

“You’ll see,” he said, giving her another smile as he pulled his hand from hers to turn the car on. When he started driving, he took her hand again, and she smiled out her window at the contact.

He took her to the state park close to their campus. She looked at him in confusion, but he pointed to the backseat of the car; she spotted a basket and a blanket. “A picnic?” she asked in excitement. 

“Yeah,” Kylo replied, rubbing his neck. “You said you liked to stargaze, and I thought…” he trailed off, clearly embarrassed. 

“It’s perfect,” she said, glad she could reassure him this time, and glad that he had been listening to her. 

Rey didn’t have a lot of experience dating—though she did have some—but she could say definitively that it was the best date of her life. They talked for hours, as they always seemed to. Near midnight, as far as she could tell, lying on their backs under the stars, she turned to face him.

He was already looking at her. She sucked a breath in in surprise; he raised a hand, rubbing his thumb over her lips. Kylo leaned toward, and she leaned toward him. Their lips met in the middle; it was soft and sweet and perfect. 

He drove her home afterward, and she rested her head on his shoulder the whole way. He walked her to her door; they couldn’t seem to stop touching each other. He pushed her back against her apartment door—always gently—his hands grasping her hips. Rey wrapped her arms around his neck, and tugged him down to her. Their lips met again, less gentle than before. Kylo tugged on her bottom lip with his teeth, his tongue explored her mouth, and she moaned into him. 

And then she heard a snicker. She pulled away from Kylo with a gasp, both of them turning to find Poe and Finn looking at them through a crack in their door. “Nice job, Rey!” Finn shouted before slamming the door shut. 

She sighed loudly, worried about Kylo’s reaction. He didn’t look upset, though, just…startled. “Sorry about them,” she whispered.

“Your friends, I take it?” There was a smile on his face again, but she noticed with pleasure that he was looking at her lips. 

“Yeah,” she breathed out, sheepishly. 

He leaned back toward her, and murmured against her lips, “It’s good that you have people that care about you.”

They kissed again, and she almost asked him to come in. But he said goodnight before she could work up the courage to, so she said goodnight to him too. She watched him walk back down the stairs, biting her lip (remembering what it had felt like to have his lips on hers). Once she was sure he was gone, she marched over to Poe and Finn’s apartment and banged on the door until Poe yanked it open.

“Yes?” he asked innocently.

“What the hell?” she exploded.

“We had to see who caught our girl’s eye,” Finn’s voice rang out from somewhere in the apartment. 

She sighs again—but she’s really already forgiven them. “Don’t next time.”

“Oh? Are you planning on bringing a new guy around?” Poe asks, barely able to contain his teasing laughter.

Rey pushes his shoulder lightly. “You know what I meant.”

“You really like this guy, huh?” Finn asks, coming into view.

“I’m not sure you’ve known me long enough to know if I really like him or not,” she says, evading his question.

“But you do.” It’s not a question.

She answers anyway. “Yeah.” 

Rey and Kylo spend most of their free time together after that in between studying and their jobs. She doesn’t forget about her friends because she’d never wanted to be the type of person that dropped her friends just because she got a boyfriend; the four of them end up spending a lot of time together. Poe and Finn seem to not feel so bad about going to places without her now, though, since she has someone to do things with too. 

Christmas break comes sooner than she was prepared for. It was why she’d gotten an apartment instead of a dorm in the first place—she had no home to go back to. She wants to ask Kylo what he’s doing for Christmas; she just doesn’t want to intrude on his plans. They’ve only been going out for three months and she’s not sure if it’s too soon to do holidays together.

And he still hasn’t told her about his family.

She’s not sure why he won’t talk about them, and she’s nervous about bringing it up. Rey’s never been in a relationship that lasted longer then a month, and she really doesn’t want to mess up this thing they have by bringing up something he obviously doesn’t want to talk about.

So she just keeps pushing away her burning questions and enjoys her time with him. Until he asks what she’s doing for Christmas.

“Oh, um, I guess I was just planning to stay here. Finn and Poe aren’t going home for Christmas and they said I could join them if I didn’t have any other plans,” she says the last thing hoping to prod him into asking her to spend the holiday with him. He just nods, his expression unreadable. “What are you doing?” she finally asks in frustration.

“I don’t have any plans,” he says, and she’s ready to ask him to spend it with her and her friends, but he continues. “Well, my mom called and asked if I wanted to come home, but I‘ll probably stay here.”

“Why don’t you want to go home?” the question comes out, unbidden. Rey couldn’t help it; she can’t imagine having a family and not wanting to spend time with them. She wishes she could take it back when she sees the anger in his eyes, when he stands up and moves away from her.

“I just don’t want to, okay?” It’s the angriest she’s ever heard him, and suddenly she’s angry with him.

“No, not okay! You never talk about your family and I was just surprised. You don’t need to get angry.” Rey’s speaking through clenched teeth, her hands curled into fists. 

“Yeah well, you should stay out of things that aren’t any of your business.” Kylo says, backing away from her toward the door. She can’t help but feel like he’s trying to walk away from her.

“Kylo!” She yells, unable to think of anything else to say; she just wants him to stay and talk to her so that they can work this out. 

He doesn’t stay, just opens her door and walks out. He closes the door gently, though, so she wonders how angry he really is. 

Tears prickle Rey’s eyes. She squeezes her eyes shut until the sensation goes away; she’s always hated crying and she’s not about to start now. She’s not sure how much time goes by, but her eyes fly open when she hears a soft knock on her door. She runs toward it, praying that it’s Kylo, but when she opens the door she finds Finn there instead. 

“Hey,” he says, hands in his pockets. “We heard yelling; you okay?” 

Rey can’t speak. She shakes her head no, a sob choking her. 

Finn steps into her apartment, closing the door behind him, and tugs her in for one of his hugs. He makes soothing noises, lets her cry over his shirt until she’s calmed down enough to whisper, “We had our first fight.”

He stays with her until she pushes him out the door—he has a final the next day and she doesn’t want to be the reason he doesn’t do well. Rey spends the rest of the night curled on her sofa, clutching her phone to her chest. Kylo never calls. 

The next morning, she pulls open her door, hoping her eyes aren’t too embarrassingly puffy, and finds a bouquet of purple hyacinths outside her door. There’s a note in his messy, hurried scrawl; ‘I’m sorry’ it reads simply, but its enough for her. She calls him after she’s put the flowers in some water and he answers on the first ring.

“Hey,” he says softly.

“Hi,” she replies. “So um…I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have asked.“

“You don’t have to apologize,” he quickly reassures her. “I’m the one who lost my temper. I’m the one who’s sorry.”

They have dinner that night. He doesn’t bring up his parent’s and she doesn’t ask.

On the four days before Christmas, he tells her he’s not going home. She invited him to her Christmas, and he accepts. It’s fine, she tells herself, but she wonders if he’s not going home because of her. She didn’t expect him to take her home—she’s not sure if she should tell him that, and she’s definitely sure she shouldn’t tell him to just go. 

Valentine’s day comes sooner than Christmas had seemed to. She knows what she wants to give him as a present, but she’s not sure how to bring it up. She decides to just rent a hotel room—on the off chance that Phasma is actually home for a change—and give him the itinerary paper. 

He opens the bag, sees the paper, and looks at her, questions in his eyes. “Are you sure?”

She’s glad she doesn’t have to spell it out for him, glad that he knows what she wants without either of them really having to say it. “I’m sure.”

Rey had considered buying new lingerie for the occasion, but she wasn’t sure she could deal with that too. She debated back and forth before putting on her only matching bra and underwear under the dress she’d worn on their first date. 

He picks her up at her apartment; they have dinner reservations that she hadn’t known about. He’s wearing a suit jacket; it’s a good look for him, and it makes her want him more. He puts her at ease; she’s nervous when he’s not there but when she’s around him she can’t remember why she was nervous in the first place. When they’re done with their meal, they go to the hotel. 

The clerk smiles knowingly at them; she hadn’t considered this when she’d booked the hotel. Her cheeks heat in embarrassment; Kylo just looks down at her fondly. When they’re finally checked in, Kylo grabs her hand. The time between the lobby and their room seems to last forever. Then, they’re in their room, the door firmly closed and locked behind them. She doesn’t get a chance to look at the room; Kylo pushes her up against the door, and she grinds into him. 

“You like to push me against doors, huh?” She asks with a private smile as he nuzzles her neck. 

“You like when I push you against doors.” 

She can’t really argue with that. Rey pushes his jacket off his shoulders and Kylo pushes her sweater down, and bites her shoulder gently. She moans in pleasure, surprised at the pleasure the small, stinging pain brings. He finishes pushing her sweater off, kisses up her neck, his hands going around her back to tug the zipper of her dress down. Then he stops. She looks at him, confused.

“Are you sure? We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Rey smiles, pushing the dress off of her body. “I’ve never wanted anything more.” 

He smiles back at her, finally kissing her lips; his hands are roaming her body, fingers dancing up and down her sides and her hands have threaded into his thick locks. He unhooks her bra; she moves her hands long enough for him pull the bra off and throw it somewhere in the room. He pauses kissing her to look at her. 

“So beautiful,” he murmurs. She can feel a blush coming on—it’s not her first time, but it’s the first time she’s really cared about what happens afterward. She wants him to find her beautiful; she wants him to enjoy doing this with her. He moves one hand over her face, the other moving to cup her breast. His thumb rubs over her nipple, and she arches into his touch.

Rey decides it’s high time for him to lose some of his clothes as well. She tries to quickly unbutton his shirt—though it’s hard to do with his hands on her. She succeeds eventually, though, and he lets her push the shirt off of him. He has more muscle to him then she thought he would have, and she runs her fingers over his abs. She moves her hands to his pants, tugging his belt off, unbuttoning and pulling down his zipper. He steps away from her long enough to pull his pants down. She only has a moment to see him in his almost fully unclothed glory. 

He picks her up, and she wraps her legs around his waist. Their lips meet, all teeth and nervous energy between them. He carries her to the bed, never moving his lips off of hers. They’re both breathing heavily, and she can feel his rapidly hardening length through his briefs. She wants him.

Her hands travel down, brushing over his length; he moans into her mouth in response. She pushes Kylo’s underwear down; he kicks them off behind him. He pulls his lips from hers, kisses a path down her body; his lips encase one of her nipples, biting softly. The rough pad of his thumb brushes over her other nipple. She’s arching into his body moaning for him to keep going and not to stop, embarrassed that he’s able to so easily draw these reactions from her; she’s glad he can make her feel this way, though.

He moves from her breasts, and she almost begs him to come back, but his lips move down her body, his head settling between her legs. He kisses her over her underwear; she claws at the bed in response. No one has ever done that to her, and she shakes in anticipation. “Take them off,” she says, surprised at how breathy her voice sounds. 

He acquiesces, sitting back on his haunches and pulls her underwear off, balling them and throwing them to the side. He returns to his earlier position, grinning up at her for a moment; he hooks her legs over his shoulders then, tugging her further down the bed. He touches his tongue to her clit; gently, as he always seems to be with her, but its not gentleness she wants from him right now.

“Kylo,” she whines out. She swears she can feel him smile against her, and she almost gets angry with him, but then he licks her more firmly. He alternates between sucking and licking, hands digging into her hips. Her hands are gripping his hair—she worries that she is hurting him, but she can’t seem to make her hands loosen their grip. There’s a supernova forming in her head, shocks going through her body. She can feel her orgasm coming; surprised he was able to make her come so quickly. Her release comes and she sees stars.

When she comes back down, he’s sitting back on his haunches again, grinning at her with what can only be described as male pride. “Shut up,” she whispers, but the effect is ruined by the smile she can’t stop from stretching across her face.

He smiles back, the widest smile she’s ever seen. She notices the empty wrapper at his side, sees that he’s rolled the condom over himself. She’s glad that he did, since she was about to ask him, cursing herself for forgetting to bring them herself. 

“Come here,” she begs, and he moves back up her body, taking his time. He lets his fingers go down her body, feeling how wet she is for him and dipping into her entrance. He kisses his way back up to her lips. He pulls his fingers out of her, lines himself up with her, and pulls his head back to look at her.

“I think I’m falling in love with you,” he whispers, moving back to kiss her. She wonders why he didn’t give her time to respond—wonders if he’s worried she doesn’t feel the same about him.

She pushes away, smiling at him. “I think I’m falling in love with you, too.” He enters her at that, kissing her hard and deep. He pauses, letting her body stretch and adjust to him; she rolls her hips when she’s comfortable. Kylo moans, placing his hands on her hips again, rolling into her. Rey matches him thrust for thrust; she comes a second time moments before he does. 

Later, when she’s curled into his chest on her side, his arm draped over her waist, their breathing heart rates returned to normal, he murmurs in her ear, “You’re perfect.” She thinks he thinks she is asleep, so she just snuggles closer to him.

 

They’d been dating for over a year, and Christmas was around the corner again. She’s not as nervous anymore—she’ll ask him and if he gets upset again she’ll give as good as she gets. It’s not like he can leave since they live together now. And he loves her and she loves him, she reminds herself, there’s always that.

He’d asked her to move into his apartment on her birthday in June. She’d said yes without a second thought; Poe and Finn had moved to be closer to them. 

“Dependent morons,” she’d said affectionately when she’d found out.

“You’re the only one of us who can cook,” Poe said in response. “Besides, we’d miss you if you weren’t just down the hall.”

Kylo had laughed—she was glad that he never seemed to be jealous of her friends.

But Christmas. She knew it would cause a fight again. She didn’t want to fight with him—they were both too good at pushing people away when they got angry. But she didn’t understand—it had to be her, right? He didn’t want his family to meet the poor foster girl he’d found himself in love with. 

And she told him exactly that when the fight came, almost an exact repeat of their first fight. He looked stricken. “How could you ever think that?” his voice had returned to its normal tone, but she could hear the horror behind his calm tone.

“You never talk about them with me!” she’s not ready to stop yelling quite yet. “It’s like you don’t want me to know anything about them. Why? So you don’t have to explain to them when you break up with me?”

“I’m not going to break up with you, Rey.”

She doesn’t hear him, though; she’s picturing him abandoning her here like her parents did so many years ago. She shuts her eyes, pushing her tears away. She jumps a little when his arms wrap around her. 

“Hey, I’m here okay. This isn’t about you. I’d be—well, to be completely honest, I would be proud to introduce you to my family.”

Rey pulls away from him, completely confused. “Then why—“

“It’s me,” he admits. “I had a—a falling out when I was eighteen with my family. I haven’t been back since.” 

“Why not?” she asks, her voice finally calmer, the tears that had been threatening to fall completely gone. 

And so he tells her after they’ve moved to the couch. When he was younger, he’d had a lot of anger issues, apparently, always getting into fights. His uncle was a counselor and tried to help him; Kylo didn’t know why he was so angry, though. He’d had a great childhood, a loving family. He never felt like he could live up to their expectations, though; his grandfather was a war hero, his grandmother a famous senator, his father a successful business man, and his mother was one of the first four star female generals. Anyway, he’d gotten into a lot of trouble, but the worst was when he punched the mayor’s son. He’d broken the bone around the kid’s eye apparently. The fallout was horrible, apparently; his uncle blamed himself and left without a word. His parents fought over how to help him; the last Kylo had heard, his parent’s had split up. When he graduated high school, he left. He went backpacking around Europe, going on what he called a spiritual pilgrimage. At the end of his trip, his anger was gone. 

“I was uh, born Ben Solo but changed my name. A new man and all that,” he finished.

“Is that why you’re always so gentle with me?” she asks, finally understanding.

He looks at her, lovingly. “Yeah. I don’t ever want to hurt anyone ever again, you know?”

She nods in agreement, smiling fondly at him.

“You’re not…you don’t want to leave me?” he asks suddenly.

“Of course not,” she says. “I think we should go to your mother’s for Christmas though.”

He sighs, fights her half-heartedly for the next week. He still packs his suitcase though, and calls his mom to tell her he’s coming home.

Rey can tell that he’s incredibly nervous. He taps his fingers on his leg for half the ride, and squeezes her hand when she grabs his to stop the tapping. “Kylo, they love you. It’ll be fine,” she reassures him. 

Kylo nods, but he doesn’t look like he believes her. She lays her head on his shoulder, trying to comfort him in whatever way she can.

His family’s house is only three hours from their campus—she wonders at how close he decided to stay to them. 

They pull into the driveway of an enormous house; Kylo turns the car off but makes no move to get out. “Kylo?” she says softly.

He turns to her. “You make me brave enough to do this.” He leans across the seat, kissing her quickly. They both get out of the car then, winding up the steps to the front doo. 

“You ready?” she asks. 

He nods, knocking on the door firmly. 

An older woman opens the door; Rey thinks she’s beautiful. The woman’s eyes fill with tears. “Hi mom,” Kylo says sheepishly. 

“Ben,” the woman whispers, stepping out to pull him into a hug. 

Rey feels tears prickle her own eyes; she can’t explain it, she’s just so happy that his mom is so happy to see him. Kylo pulls away finally, grabbing Rey’s hand. “Mom, this is my girlfriend, Rey. Rey, this is my mom.” There’s an edge of tears to his voice too, and Rey thinks this is probably how the night is going to go.

“Hi, Mrs.—General? Solo,” she’s nervous, flustered. She’s never been introduced to a boyfriend’s parents before. 

“Call me Leia,” his mom says with a smile before pulling Rey in for a hug.

Rey is shocked, but her arms move to hug the woman back. This is what a family is, she thinks to herself.

They finally make their way inside. Kylo is visibly shocked to see his father Han and uncle Luke both at home, in addition to the family friends he greets as uncles—Lando and Chewie. Rey fights off more tears to see them accepting Kylo so easily, pulling him in for hug after hug, and never breathing a word of judgment in his direction. His grandmother Padmé is one of the nicest people Rey’s ever met—his grandfather Anakin smiles at all of them. 

“I didn’t have a family growing up,” he says to Rey. “I like it when my family is all together.”

“I didn’t have a family growing up either,” she says, smiling fondly in Kylo’s direction as he talks with his parents, a smile on his face.

“Welcome to ours,” Padmé says softly, leaning on her husband’s arm. 

Rey does cry then, and Kylo moves quickly to comfort her. “What’s wrong?” he asks, low and concerned in her ear.

“I finally found a family,” she says back. 

He breathes in relief, pulling her closer to him as his family looks on, a smile on all of their faces.


	2. Keeping Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is still insecure about some things, but maybe Kylo is too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Thank you for all your support for this! I decided to extend this for another chapter since I had plots I didn't use in the first one.

It’s weird for Rey, after not really being part of a family for so long, to suddenly have one.

Rey spends her nights curled up on their couch, her white, orange, and black cat curled on her lap, her textbooks strewn all over the place. 

Finn had found a litter of kittens behind their apartment complex. They had all waited, desperately, for the mother to come back. She never did. Rey didn’t want the kittens to grow up alone—she wasn’t about to give them to the local shelter and let them get killed—so naturally she’d taken in all eight of them. 

Kylo had been staying at his parent’s for the weekend; she’d pushed him to go by himself. She loved his family almost as much as she loved him, but she wanted to let him get to know his family—let them get to know him—without her in the way. She felt guilty for monopolizing his time with them. He’d told her she was being silly; his family loved her, loved him when he was with her, and they were happy to share him with her. And he went to lunch every other week with at least one of his family members alone. She was unrelenting, though, as much as she loved knowing she was wanted; it was just once, just one weekend for him to be with his family. She’d go with him next time. 

So he came home close to midnight on Sunday night to find her asleep with eight kittens sprawled across her. She’d woken to his laughter.

“Shut up,” she’d murmured sleepily, blinking blearily at him. “Don’t wake them up, they’ve been meowing for hours.” 

“Why do we have eight cats?” He’d asked, still laughing, scooping up one of the kittens that had stretched awake. 

“Finn found a cat.”

“That doesn’t explain why we have eight cats.” He had continued smiling down at the kitten he’d picked up, cooing gently, so she knew he wasn’t upset to have his house invaded. 

“Kittens. Finn didn’t really find the cat, he found the kittens,” she explained.

“And we have them because…” he pressed.

She hesitated before answering, her voice a low murmur. “Their mom abandoned them too.” 

“Oh, Rey,” he’d whispered, and then dropped down to place a kiss on her forehead. 

He’d helped her, with Finn and Poe, find homes for the rest of the cats, but the one he’d picked up—her secret favorite—they had decided to keep. Poe had suggested the name—BB-8—for baby number eight. Rey had loved it and so Kylo had gone along with it without question, giving both of them a fond sort of smile.

She did wonder how his nearly all black wardrobe was going to survive the white fur that seemed to be everywhere. He didn’t ever complain about it, though; she tried her best to make sure the fur got cleaned up. 

They were forming their own little family, she supposed. Her and Kylo and BB-8. They spend lazy afternoons together, sleeping on their couch, curled together for warmth. She loves the simplicity—the domesticity—of it all. They take turns cooking, they clean together—to be fair, they do most things together. 

Finn and Poe, she realizes, are just as much a part of her family. She curses herself for not realizing sooner, but it’s true. They all found each other, and they love each other. They were there for her when she needed them most. Kylo hadn’t come home on time one night after work—of course, he’d forgotten his cell phone that day—and she’d spent hours worrying—alone, just her and BB-8—expecting the worst. It seemed cruel to finally get what she’d always wanted only to have it torn from her just when she was starting to get used to all of it.

Finally, Finn had knocked on her door; he always seemed to appear when she needed him the most. He and Poe were there to invite her and Kylo out to drinks. At her tear stained face, they’d stepped in, hugging her and drawing what was wrong out of her.

Poe had taken charge immediately, thinking through the possible solutions. “We’ll call the museum and if he’s not there, we’ll call his parents.”

It was of course the obvious first step, but in her worry she hadn’t been able to think of it. Kylo answered his work phone, quickly apologized for not calling her, and explained they’d had trouble with one of the shipments. Rey had been able to breathe a sigh of relief; Poe and Finn stayed with her until Kylo came home. It was then that she’d realized they were her family. She’d found them, or they’d found her; she didn’t care about those logistics really. All that mattered was that they were a family and she was theirs as much as they were hers. 

Then there was Kylo’s family. Leia invited her out for lunch one day when she was in town; they’d spent hours talking. She was as easy to talk to as Kylo was. His whole family made every effort to include her. They even threw her a surprise party for her birthday—bringing the inevitable tears to her eyes. They even accepted Finn and Poe into their group, inviting them to family parties and dinners.

It was far more than she had ever had, and far more than she’d ever dreamed of getting.

She sometimes wondered why it couldn’t be enough. It should be enough to have all her hopes and dreams become a reality. But she wanted something more permanent, and as time marched on her desire for permanence grew.

She was still afraid, even after all this time. She was terrified of Kylo leaving her all alone once more, ripping her newfound family away. He’d left his family for fifteen years, how hard could it be for him to leave her? She’d only been in his life for a little over two years. Rey just wanted to know—know that this wasn’t all going to disappear from under her. 

One night, after dinner at his parent’s house, Han had asked them teasingly, “So when are you crazy kids going to get married?”

Rey had turned to Kylo expectantly, wanting the answer as much as his family seemed to, all of them leaning forward in their seats. And he’d replied, “I don’t think we’re thinking about that right now.” And then he’d laughed as though the mere thought of being married to her was absurd. 

To say she had been crushed was an understatement. She was heartbroken because she was thinking about getting married and spending the rest of her life with him and having a real family together. But if he wasn’t in the same place…it didn’t matter how much she loved him or how much he loved her. 

The conversation had changed subjects after that to graduation plans and their individual job searches, but Rey’s thoughts were a chaotic mess. It was Finn who leaned over and whispered in her ear, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she’d said back, but he’d given her a knowing look, one that promised her was going to ask her again later. She looked at Kylo, but he was oblivious, laughing with Anakin about something. Could she do it? Could she really leave him if he didn’t want her in the same way she wanted him? 

She dodged Finn and Poe for a week after that. Rey didn’t want to give voice to her whirling thoughts, at least not until she talked to Kylo. But he was busy that week. The museum, where he’d been interning, had decided to hire him, and he was working that job and teaching fencing lessons. She didn’t understand why he was working so much; they didn’t have a lot of money by any means, but they were comfortable. Maybe he was trying to get away from her. 

It was Padmé who called her this time. “Rey, I’m glad I caught you. I had a meeting in town, how’d you like to meet for lunch?”

Sometimes Rey wondered if Kylo’s family was just coming up with convenient excuses to see the both of them. She was fine with it, though, so she’d agreed readily.

“You seemed upset the other night,” Padmé said without preamble. 

“It was nothing,” Rey said, hoping her voice sounded light.

But Padmé gave her a look that said she wasn’t fooling anyone. “It didn’t seem like nothing,” she said, stretching a hand across the table to soothe Rey’s hand with her thumb. 

“I want to marry him,” Rey admitted softly. “I wish he wanted to marry me.” 

“Ah,” Padmé said softly, a contemplative look on her face. “Have you talked to him about it?”

Rey shook her head softly, ashamed. She knew she should just talk to him about it. She prepared herself for Padmé to tell her exactly that, so her next words surprised Rey.

“Did I ever tell you how Anakin and I got married?” Again, Rey shook her head no, so Padmé continued, “He thought I didn’t love him. We weren’t even dating, really. We were just friends and he was a member of the Jedi division. They weren’t allowed to get married—form attachments really—since it would get in the way of his missions. He didn’t care, but I did. But the war started, you see, and he was captured. And then I realized I loved him, but I thought it was too late. I went on a diplomatic mission to try to arrange for his release, but I was captured also. Almost dying makes you realize what’s important. We married in secret.”

Rey sat back, shocked. “What happened after that?”

Padmé laughed softly, “We kept our marriage secret for three years. He did his missions, and I worked to end the war, and he spent his leave time with me. Then I got pregnant with the twins, and we knew we wouldn’t be able to hide any more.” She paused before continuing, “I think you should tell Ben you want to marry him. You never know until you ask.”

“But what if he says no…we live together! My whole life if with him, and his family, and I can’t stay with him if he doesn’t see a future with me,” she finished with finality. 

“Rey, you don’t know if he doesn’t see a future with you.”

“But he said—“

“Maybe he didn’t want to tell his family he was thinking about marrying you without talking to you about it first.”

That stopped Rey. She’d immediately gone to the worst scenario, and while that might be a possibility, she didn’t know for sure. “I’ll ask him,” she promised. 

“Good girl,” Padmé smiled. “You’re the best thing for him, you know. He never used to smile as a boy. He was so serious. You make him happy, and if he doesn’t want a future with you, he’s a fool.”

She’d called Finn when she was done with lunch, asking him and Poe to meet her at their favorite local bar. Rey had decided that she needed a drink to steel her nerves; if she was going to ask Kylo about this, she figured she needed to get it done and over with. She couldn’t live with all these questions.

She probably didn’t need six drinks, though; she was a lightweight and every one knew it, but one drink quickly escalated. She’d drunkenly admitted what was wrong to her two best friends and Poe had finally cut her off. They drove her home, helping her stumble up the stairs. Kylo pulled the door open when she’d tried—unsuccessfully—to fit the key in the lock, BB-8 curled in his arm. 

“Thanks for getting her home,” he said in Finn and Poe’s direction, and she was pretty sure she told them goodnight as Kylo helped her inside. He set BB-8 down and led her to their bedroom. She tripped on the way and he caught her in his arms, carrying her and setting her on the bed. “I’ll be right back,” he whispered, his hand lingering on her arm for a moment. 

“Can’t I wait a little longer?” she asked the empty room—though it probably came out less clear than that. 

He came back, a cup of black coffee in hand. He helped her sit up, coaxed her to drink. “You okay?” he asked when she was done, concern written over his features. 

She nodded, but that only made the room spin. “Fine,” she mumbled. “Got carried away.”

“Go to sleep, you’ll feel better in the morning,” Kylo said as he made to get up and leave the room.

“Stay,” she burst out quickly, moving to grab his hand. “Please.”

He turned back to her, nodding. Kylo entered the bed on his side, curled around her back. He kissed the shell of her ear, and whispered, “I love you.”

She let herself smile. This was enough for tonight. 

In the morning she woke, and knew it was going to be a bad day. Her head ached; she burrowed deeper under the covers, making the decision to not get out of bed for the entire day. But her throat was really dry and she needed to go to the bathroom. She threw back the covers with a groan, finally opening her eyes expecting pain, and not finding it. Normally, when she woke, there was light blaring in the room; both of them were horrible at remembering to close the curtain. The curtains and blinds were shut tightly, though, and the room was dark for once. There was a glass of water on her bedside table and aspirin waiting for her. She smiled at his thoughtfulness, but that hurt too. 

“Why do you have to be so great?” she asked as she shuffled to the bathroom.

When she was done, she moved out to the kitchen. She felt simultaneously hungry and sick to her stomach, so she decided to make some toast. Rey stopped her sad, slow, hungry march when she saw Kylo at their table. He had work today, she was almost sure. 

“Hey,” he said softly, looking up and noticing her. “How do you feel?”

She groaned in response, and he laughed, still softly, keeping his volume down for her sake. 

“That good?” he asked. “I have toast for you if you’re hungry.” 

Rey moved to the table, sitting next to him and taking the offered toast. Kylo was quiet, just sitting and watching her. “I thought you had work,” she said when she finished her food. 

He nodded, “Yeah, but I wanted to make sure you were okay, so I took the day off.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” she mumbled in embarrassment. 

“I wanted to.”

She opens her mouth, ready to ask him, finally, because even if he doesn’t want marriage right now, maybe he does in the future, and she needs to know. He’s not looking at her though, and he speaks before she does. “You got a letter from that internship you wanted.” 

He hands her the letter; it’s an international program, elite, one of the best. It’s salvage work mostly; collecting broken parts and fixing them, but its pays, and its international, and she needs the experience. She rips it open, and there it is, she’s been accepted. “I got in,” she says softly in disbelief. 

Kylo smiles widely in return. “Of course you did.” 

She promises Kylo, Poe, and Finn that she’ll call everyday and regale them with tales of her international exploits. 

 

The next few weeks are a blur. Han and Leia through her a graduation party and a goodbye party all in one. She’s going to France, and she’s so excited. But there’s Kylo, looking sad in the corner. He thinks he’s hiding it from her, she’s sure, but it’s there. He’s sad that she’s leaving. It’s only four weeks; she’ll be back to start her masters program in the fall. She’s sad that she’s leaving. 

Padmé asks her before they leave for the night if she’s asked him yet; Rey’s ashamed, but she tells her the truth. “You know, with my trip and all, there just doesn’t seem to be the time.”

“You have to ask him eventually, Rey,” Padmé presses.

“I know. I’ll ask when I get home,” Rey promises, intending to keep her word this time. 

When they get home, they don’t say a word. He takes her in his arms and kisses her, leads her to the bedroom. They undress each other slowly, taking each other in, memorizing bodies and the way the other feels. They make love just as slowly, taking their time even though to her, it feels like their time in running out. They’re not over, but four weeks could change a lot. He wakes her again when the world is still dark, takes her harder this time, faster, gripping her body close to him as though trying to imprint the memory of him on her body. She lets silent tears fall down her cheeks, hoping he doesn’t notice them. 

He drives her to the airport in the morning, BB-8 curled on her lap. Rey was going to miss both of them. She’d said goodbye to everyone else the night before, but she knew this was going to be the hardest. He pulls up to the drop off—they’d already agreed he would just drop her off and not come in. She leans over, kisses him soft and slow, remembering the night before. “I love you,” she says as the tears start to fall. 

She doesn’t wait for his response, just pushes BB-8 into his waiting arms, and hurries to grab her bag and exit. She’s at the door when she decides to look back. Kylo is still sitting there, his hand pressed up against both his eyes. She thinks she sees tears trailing down his cheeks. 

Rey calls him every day the first week, even though she’s exhausted and even though there’s a horrible time difference. He always picks up, regardless of whether he’s sleeping or working. It’s hard to talk to him and not be able to see his face, though, so she decides to only call him once a week. He sends her silly pictures of BB-8, and they all bring tears to her eyes, especially the one where the cat is curled on her pillow. 

She has fun even though she misses everyone. The work is hard, but she likes it; she likes finding broken things and making them work again. It’s satisfying work. It doesn’t hurt that she gets to explore France either, though not as much as she really wants to. She makes some friends, trades numbers and friends people on Facebook, but she just wants to be with her people again. She’s glad she went, glad that she was able to take care of herself. 

When it’s over, she’s not sure if the time went too fast or too slow. She can’t wait to see Kylo and BB-8 and Finn and Poe and everyone else. She prepares herself for one of those cliché airport moments. She’ll run into Kylo’s arms; he’ll pick her up and spin her around, holding her close. 

So when Finn picks her up from the airport it is a complete surprise to her. “Where’s Kylo?” she says after they hug. 

He rubs a hand across the back of his neck. “He had a work thing, apparently.” He doesn’t look like he believes what he said, and she’s getting nervous.

“Finn?” she presses.

“Not here,” he says with a shake of his head. 

She waits till they’re in his car, and then turns to him expectantly. “Well?”

“He really missed you Rey. You didn’t call any of us as much as you said you were going to. He had work tonight, but he could have gotten out of it if he wanted to, I figure.” Finn paused, looking at her, before continuing, “I think he thinks you’re moving on.”

“Moving on?”

Finn gives her a knowing look, “He’s just as insecure as you are, my Rey of sunshine. We went drinking one night and he asked us if we thought you were ever going to come home.”

“That’s ridiculous! Of course I was going to come home.” She can’t believe any of this.

“That’s what we told him, but he said that you were going to realize you deserve better than him.”

“Drive me to the museum.”

“Rey—“

“The museum,” she interrupts with an air of finality. 

Finn starts the car, begins driving. “You’re both ridiculous, you know? Neither of you has any idea what to do in an actual relationship. Your problems could all be solved if you’d just talk to each other.”

“That’s why I’m going to the museum.”

Finn drops her off, telling her he’ll stay if she wants him to, but she’s against that idea. “Kylo’ll drive me. Don’t worry. I’ll call if I need you.” 

She’s really exhausted and all she wants to do is sleep for ten years, but she has to do this. She marches in, murmuring hellos to the guards who wave her through, to his shared office space. He’s there, back turned toward her, and she takes a moment to gaze at him. His office mate Hux sees her, waves hello, then stands to leave. That draws Kylo’s gaze toward the door, and he sees her. He jumps a little at the sight of her, his eyes drinking her in. His mouth opens and closes a few times, but he says nothing. 

Rey hopes she looks like she feels—angry and hopeful all at once. She waits until Hux has left to talk, not wanting an audience. “Hey,” she says. 

He nods at her, seemingly still struck speechless by her sudden appearance. 

“You were supposed to pick me up,” she continues.

“I know,” he croaks. “I’m sorry.” 

“If you’re trying to let me go, you have another thing coming,” she’s emboldened by her own exhaustion and what Finn told her, and she thinks she knows him well enough to know what his motivation was. It’s easier to know his reasons when she’s not feeling insecure. 

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay with me when you have so much going for you,” he confesses. 

How can one person make her so angry and so happy all at once? She’s angry because he’s being ridiculous, but she’s so happy to see him again that all she wants to do is run into his arms. She wants him to gold her and never let her go. “I don’t feel like I have to stay with you, I want to be with you. I want to go to sleep every night with you, wake up to your face, make love to you whenever we can! You’re the one who didn’t see a future for us.”

“What’re you talking about?”

“The dinner, at your parents?” her anger grows because he doesn’t remember. “You said you weren’t thinking about marrying me.” There it is, finally, all out on the table. 

“I said we weren’t. You were finishing school, applying to jobs around the country and halfway across the world and then not calling me when you’re there,” he stands up and starts pacing, and she can tell he’s angry now and he’s trying to control it. She wants to move to comfort him, but she’s too angry herself. Finally he stops and turns back to her, raking a hand through his hair, “I’ll support your decisions, but I’m not going to make you stay with me if you don’t want to.”

“Kylo,” she starts, calm suddenly. “I want you. Only you. Forever. I’m going to do what I need to do for my career because that’s who I am, but I’m going to stay with you because you’re more important to me than all those things. I might not be with you physically, but all I wanted these four weeks was for you to be there with me. It was hard to talk to you because I missed you so damn much and every time I talked to you I wanted to get on a plane and come home.”

“Really?” he asks, incredulous. He takes a hesitant step toward her; she meets him in the middle. She nods right before he kisses her, all the worry and hurt melting away. “We should probably talk more,” he says with a self-deprecating laugh when he pulls away.”

“Yeah,” she agrees, “especially about the things that bother us.” And then she ruins the moment by yawning, loudly, in his face.

He laughs, gently, placing an arm around her shoulders. “Come on, sleepy, let’s get you home.” 

Rey wakes to BB-8 curled into her stomach and Kylo curled around her back. 

“Mmmm,” she murmurs. “It’s good to be home.”

“I’m glad you feel that way,” comes Kylo’s voice against her ear. They shift, and Rey thinks she hears the cat thumping away from them. Rey laughs as he kisses her. She’s so happy to be home. 

They move together, tugging up clothes, running hands over bodies, re-exploring. They pause every now and then to smile at each other. Rey flips them so she’s on top, smiling down at him. He grips her waist and she guides him to her entrance. They roll their hips together; Kylo surges up to kiss her. She gasps when he hits a particularly sensitive spot, and he takes advantage of their parted lips to nip at her neck. 

“God, I missed you,” he breathes against her skin as she grinds against him. She comes swiftly, dropping onto his chest, gasping for air. He flips them and finds his own release, spilling into her. 

They spend the day together. He makes her breakfast in bed and she leans her head against his shoulder while they eat. She dashes over to say hi to Poe; both he and Finn look relieved at how happy she looks. That night, Kylo takes her on a date. When they get to the park where they had their first date, she feels her breath catch in her throat. He leads the way down the path, picnic basket and blanket in hand. 

Once they’ve both sat down, he clears his throat nervously. “I think we should promise each other something,” he starts.

“Okay,” she says. 

“We’ll talk to each other about the difficult things instead of ignoring them. I want to tell you everything even if we end up fighting.”

“Okay,” she agrees easily. “And we won’t decide what the other person is thinking until we ask?”

“That sounds like a great addition.” They’re both quiet after that, enjoying their dinner and each other she supposes. 

Later, like their first day, they lie down. They’re closer to each other than they were the first time around, though; her head is tucked under his chin. 

“Rey?” he asks finally. 

“Yeah?” she returns contentedly. 

He pushes them both up so they’re sitting facing each other. 

And then he pulls out a little box. 

Her hand flies to her mouth in shock, tears prickling her eyes. 

“I’ve had this for a while,” he confesses. “I was working two jobs so I could pay for it myself. I wanted you to—you deserve the best. My dad only asked that night cause I asked him to help me pick out the ring, and I guess he thought I’d already asked you. Um, I wanted this to be perfect, and I had to know you wanted to be with me before I asked.”

“Are you ever going to actually ask me?” Rey asks teasingly.

It has the effect she wanted, and he relaxes considerably. “If I have to,” he teases back. “Rey, you—you make my life so great and I love you so much. Will you marry me?”

She bites her lip, smiling at him. “Yes.” She laughs, giddy and then launches herself at him. He catches her. She places kisses all over his face. “I’m so happy,” she says finally.

Their friends and family aren’t shocked at all. They congratulate them, of course, but they all make it clear they knew this was coming. “I’m surprised you two kids didn’t run off and get married,” Han jokes. 

Padmé gives her a huge hug, though. “Better now, dear?”

“Yes,” Rey says, and she can’t seem to stop smiling for anything.

“You’re looking more and more like sunshine, Rey,” Finn jokes when he and Poe come to hug her. “Though the rock he got on you does seem to be competing with your natural brilliance.” 

“Shut up,” she says with another laugh. 

“I’m glad you’re happy, Rey,” Poe says, smiling at Finn. 

“Yeah, make sure you keep her happy Kylo,” Finn says to her fiancé who’s come up behind her to place a hand on the small of her back. 

“That’s my goal,” Kylo says; he can’t seem to stop smiling either.

School, work, wedding planning, and spending time with her fiancé doesn’t seem to be doable at all. 

Leia and Padmé help her plan the wedding, filling the role of the mother and grandmother she never got to have. She says as much to them.

It brings tears to Padmé’s eyes, “Oh, sweetheart. You’re a part of our family now, all right?”

It’s nice to have the confirmation. 

They help her pick out a dress, the cake, the location. She’s lost in a sea of planning things she never had any idea about, and they’re there to guide her. She just wishes she could spend some actual time with Kylo. 

She asks Anakin to walk her down the aisle. She has a soft spot for Kylo’s grandparents. It seems like they have a soft spot for her too; Anakin agrees immediately.

One night, Rey stumbles home after a long day of classes to find that Kylo isn’t there. She’d cleared her schedule, hoping to surprise him; she texts him immediately to ask him where he is.

He calls immediately. “Hey, sorry, I’m at a work party. I didn’t think you’d want to come. You’ve been so busy lately.”

“I thought we agreed to talk to each other.” She’s angry, and she’s not going to wait for him to come home to confront him this time.

“Well yeah, but—“

“This falls under talking to each other, Kylo,” she interrupts. “I’m your fiancé, of course I want to go to your work parties.”

“Okay. I’m sorry. It just started, if you still want to come.”

“Do you want me to come?” she asks; she’s not going to go if he doesn’t want her there. 

“Of course. I really just didn’t want to bother you,” Kylo ensures her. 

“I’ll be there in twenty,” she says quickly, smiling. “Dressy?” she asks moving to her closet.

“Yeah,” he paused for a moment, and she heard someone ask him something. “I’ve got to go, Rey. I’ll see you when you get here. I love you.”

“Love you too.” She said, hanging up and rushing to get ready. 

Later, when they’re home, she hugs him. He’s surprised for a second, but quickly wraps his arms around her. “What’s the hug for?” he asks.

“I think I like it better when we talk,” she says, smiling up at him

He smiles back. “I like it better too.”

The next day, which they actually get to spend alone together, just them and their cat, she finally asks something she’s been thinking about for a while. “So am I going to be Rey Solo or Rey Ren? Cause I’ve got to tell you Rey Ren does not sound good at all.” 

He shakes his head with a smile, “Actually, my legal name is Ben Skywalker.”

“You said it was Ben Solo!” 

“Yeah, well it’s Ben Solo-Skywalker. Technically. My mom never took my dad’s last name.”

“So your legal name isn’t Kylo Ren?”

“Nope.”

“I’m going to be Rey Solo-Skywalker?”

“Yep,” he answers. “If that’s what you want.”

“It is,” and she punctuates it with a kiss.

They’re married in the spring. It’s a small ceremony, but everyone she loves is there. All of Kylo’s family—blood and members adopted into their midst—and Poe and Finn are there; even BB-8 gets to come because Han and Leia hold the ceremony in their backyard. 

They say their ‘I do’s’ and Finn whoops when they kiss for the first time as husband and wife. 

Years later, she’ll remember thinking that this was worth the wait.


End file.
